Southwick Beach

Yesterday was my first day off after a 70+hr week. Knowing that 40 hrs is the norm for most people, I feel like 70 hrs should feel much longer than it really does. Getting up at 4:30 is the hardest part, just because it's so dark outside and I can rarely get myself to bed before 11. Finding time to study after coming back from a 12 hr day is also challenging. I'm having to train myself to stay focused after getting home for the night. All things considered though, it's really been very doable.

As a reward for the long hours this week, we headed to one of our favorite summertime spots yesterday. Southwick Beach is a long expanse of sandy beach with a lake on the other side of dunes, with trails running along it. Southwick has quite the history in my family. My mom used to camp there as a little girl, and my family has gone there for as long as I can remember. Not to mention, Spencer and I got our engagement pictures done there (as well as Sackets Harbor, a pretty, little town up the road) just about 4 years ago.

That summer, Spencer and I also went to Southwick before getting engaged and spent the day there. We went into Watertown for dinner, but came back to the beach after we finished. We were surprised to find the beach completely deserted - not a soul in sight. At that time, there was a huge rock that sat surrounded by water that must have been moved since then. We waded out to the rock and sat for about an hour, talking and waiting for the sun to set. Yesterday reminded me so much of that night. The weather was once again perfect and the sun was casting a gold glow on everything. It's unbelievable to think that four years have passed since then. We've lived two of those years engaged and the other two married. So much has changed and yet it really hasn't. Spencer's so close to being done with school and medical school is flying by, but more often than not I feel like we're still just a couple of kids. When I'm being "pimped" on OB patient management or helping to deliver a baby I really feel like an adult. Talking to patients and coming home late in the evening makes me feel like an adult. But there are still those times I find myself surprised by how situational those feelings are. Days like yesterday bring me right back to my carefree summer days as a kid. Give me responsibility and require me to call on my years of studying and I'm suddenly an adult again. I don't know when that'll change, if I'll stop ever feeling like a kid, but I hope it doesn't. I don't mind the times getting spread further apart. I know it's a side effect of living a busy, fast-paced life, but I hope that when I seek to forget the responsibilities and challenges for a moment, I'll still be able to find my inner youth.